Thursday, October 15, 2009
I know I said I wasn't ready to tell many details yet and I think I am feeling like I can put into words all I think and feel about her birth. It sounds kind of funny I guess that I wasn't ready to share it all publicly but it feels like a very personal story to me and the more I reflect on all that happened that week and day the more personal it feels to me and the more grateful to my Heavenly Father I feel that things turned out the way that they did. Her birth really kind of started the week before she was actually born. Which is not a surprise to those who know me and my pregnancies well. It takes me a week to have a baby for real! I do what they call "patrimonial labor" Sorry if that is spelled wrong but I am not a doctor! It means that my body will labor for weeks or more and not really progress with out help. I have done it every time!!! Anyway Thursday before she was born I was tired of having contractions that were keeping me up all night, and hurting all day and knowing that stuff was happening just slowly as usual. So I had my 38 week check up and figured if I was having real contractions maybe they would help me speed things up like they ALWAYS have in the past. 38 weeks was my longest previous pregnancy (BROCK)! So I thought surely this would be the week they would HELP! I went in and the Doctor checked and said I was at a 3 and if I walked for an hour and she checked me again and there was change she would send me to the hospital. I did and actually did progress to a 4 (which for me is a big deal!!! Normally at a 4 I am begging for an epidural!) She sent me to the hospital and they got everything checked in. I called my husband to the hospital (who happened to be working out of cell phone range that day!!!) Called the school sent my kids to friends house, called my mom and she drove the 3 hours to get my kids and stay with them while we were in the hospital. We spent close to 14 hours with pit, having good contractions, and doing my normal thing, no change. I told the mid wife this is what I do until you break my water. I have done this 4 times and this is what happens I could do this for weeks and will do this for weeks!!! She refused to do anything other then give me a sleeping pill which I refuse to take because I am dis functional if I take them! She sent me home at 10:00 at night. I was in tears and frustrated!!! I thought maybe I could get things going again in the morning and get a different doctor who might actually help me. I walked and walked, I even tried pumping (I know TMI). But nothing kept them going. It was like my body was tired of having contractions so it just refused to have more then a few at time. I called and made my next appointment with the doctor. Since I hadn't because I fully expected to have a baby by this time. Monday was my appointment. I was kind of hoping that maybe there would have been some change and they would have mercy on me and send me back. But I told Larry I wasn't going to go unless they promised to break my water because I know pit wouldn't do anything but make me hurt. There was no change but the doctor said Friday (my 39 week mark) they would induce me if I hadn't gone into labor on my own before then. I was feeling hopeless that that would actually happen at this point. So figured I would stop trying to make it happen at least I knew there was an end in site and I could just try to rest until then.
Oh and the day after they had sent me home from the hospital I was feeling so discouraged and actually kind of nervous because I hadn't ever had this happen to me and what if things actually did happen fast this time and I didn't have time to get everything taken care of.... scared and a little overwhelmed to say the least. I wanted Larry to give me a priesthood blessing so I could feel more comfortable in our situation but he was feeling a lot of the same feelings and felt like he was to close to the situation to give me a blessing that he didn't feel was coming from him and what he wanted me to have and not what Heavenly Father truly wanted to bless me with so we called our very good friend (who also happens to be our bishop) and asked if he could give me a blessing. He came and gave me a blessing that evening and I can't remember all of what he said but there were a few phrases that stuck with me. That my body would be able to rest, that the delivery would be speedy, and the baby would be safe. This was a big comfort to me because I had never been pregnant this long and I was a little worried that the baby would end up being to big to deliver. But then I would remind myself also that for the last 4 check ups I was measuring a week behind, and the last 2 there was no change so technically at this point I was 2 weeks behind. (This should have worried me but didn't for some reason.) Anyway I felt like everything was going to be ok and let myself rest for the rest of the week.
Wednesday night I noticed baby wasn't moving much. Usually when I go to bed there is a circus going on in my belly and there was almost no movement that night. In the morning when I first wake up is usually a really big movement time and the baby only kicked once or twice all morning. I started to get worried and called a friend to see if she would be worried, or if she thought I should call the doctor. She told me absolutely call the doctor. So I dropped Hayden off at a friends and went into be monitored at the office. They monitored me and the baby's heart rate was just fine and she actually woke up a little while I was there. I went home knowing everything was ok but was very terrified on the way there! The doctor said sometimes baby's do this right before they are born, so I figured maybe stuff was going to happen on it's own anyway... My mom came that night so she would be there with the kids in the morning when we left for the induction. We were scheduled to check in at 10 am. I woke up having real contractions that morning and figured my body was getting a jump start on the action. Although I had multiple dreams that night that they sent me home because they were to busy for me. When I was having the contractions I knew that they wouldn't send me home because I was actually doing this on my own finally and they surly couldn't send me home now being dilated to more then a 4 and a good 70% effaced. So we got there got checked in and they got my IV in and the midwife came to check me and broke my water right then! It wasn't even 11 am yet! I was so happy that we were for sure staying now and there was going to be a baby soon! They started pit about an hour later because my contractions weren't really progressing and speeding up the process is great by me. I went in wanting to see how far I could go with out an epidural. I have always had one before and was very glad to have one but this time I thought maybe I had done enough prep work I could labor in less then a day and if it was going to progress fast enough maybe I could do it. Larry was really helpful, comforting, and supportive the whole time. We had our favorite nurse there (who also is a member of our ward and has been there during part of all of our girls labor, or right after). She was really helpful in giving me suggestions as to things I could to to help myself be more "comfortable" help things move a long, I was in uncharted territory for me and hadn't ever been able to move at this point of delivery before due to the epidurals. But things were moving a long ok but I reached a 6ish or a 7 and knew I wasn't going to make it drug free but was afraid I would have such a strong epidural I wouldn't be able to feel to push (I have had one of those before and it was kind of hard) The magical man with the drugs offered me what we called an intrathecal (spelling???) when Ethan was born I don't know if that is what they still call it. It is a shot of pain killers in your spine but there is no catheter, and it only lasts 3 hours. You still have sensations, you feel the contractions only with out pain. I opted for that. It was wonderful!!!! I knew exactly what was going on, could move my body my self, and was totally comfortable. I knew when it was time to push and the drugs were really starting to wear off when it was time so I was kind of in a hurry to finish. The whole time the baby was having what they were calling "earlies" which means with every contraction the heart would decell but would recover quickly so they weren't to worried and thought it was actually a good sign at first that things were progressing well. But once I told them I thought it was getting close the decells had changed drastically and the mid wife was in a hurry to get the baby out too. So she told me to go for it. From there it took about 7 minutes to deliver her (a record for me. I think my shortest was 15 before that!) The first scare was, as soon as her head was out the midwife yelled at me to stop pushing they had a cord. The cord was around her neck 3 times and looped under itself so it had tied a knot in it. She couldn't just cut it and unwrap it she had to cut it and untie it to get it off the baby's neck. It was around there so tight they couldn't just slip it off either. Once they got her untied she came out with one more push. Larry was accutally able to deliver her. The mid wife let him do this when Hayden was born and it was such a great experiance for him that we asked if he could do it again. He did a great job! They let me hold her a little while they rubbed her down and she was so tiny. My smallest baby ever at 5 lbs 8 oz. She has a head full of hair though! Now if you don't want TMI stop reading for a minute. Then I delivered my placenta which was very very little, the cord was also pretty small. Our nurse told Larry that she has only seen placentas that little from smokers, drinkers, or heavy heavy pop drinkers. Which I am neither. I have pop about 2 times a month and even that it is a glass with pizza. So part of me wonders if she had stopped growing, or even started loosing weight in there since things weren't quite right. The doctor did say she needed to come out because much longer in there like that wouldn't have been good for her, and as far as the delivery if she had taken even 2 minutes longer coming out they would have ended up resuscitating her and she would have been in the nicu. As it was she was in the nursery for an hour just getting checked, getting some extra oxygen and all that just as precautionary. But was doing very well very quickly! She even started nursing very very quickly and has been a very good eater from the beginning. She came out hungry!!! I guess I am feeling very blessed and watched over by my Heavenly Father that she came as quickly as she did, that everyone that was there to help us did such a wonderful job, and that she came when she did which was just the right time for her. She is so beautiful, sweet, so snugly, I couldn't ask for anything more. Her brothers and sisters all love her and are so proud to have her in our home it is truly wonderful to have her as a part of our family. I get so teary when I am holding her watching her sleep and she smiles in her sleep. Only a few days old and those little twitches of smiles are so beautiful to me. I always have thought when they do that they must be dreaming of heaven, remembering something I can not. She was there such a short time ago with our Heavenly Father, so fresh so sweet and innocent. How can I be so blessed to have her in our home?